by Michael Darling
It’s a simple fact of life and human nature that when we do not like the circumstances of our lives, our natural tendency is to resist or fight them with all the fiber of our beings.
Interestingly, the irony of this is that when we take up our sword and shield and start the fight against the things that we don’t want or don’t like in our lives we are much more likely to perpetuate their existence in it.
It doesn’t really make any logical sense, but then again, I’ve found that nothing about this journey through life seems to, until we can see past our current obstacle. Later, we look back and can see that a great many of our biggest problems are actually some of our biggest blessings in disguise.
In one of my blogs, I saw this comment from a poster…
“Resistance is a form of friction and it slows your progress.”
There’s a lot of truth in that. A lot more than what we may want to admit.
When you’re so busy fighting the way things are and resisting the circumstances of your life, you tend to get caught inside your own problems. Instead of moving forward you stay stuck and you kill your momentum.
It’s something that I’ve been experiencing first hand lately. I’ve found myself trapped in a comparative and competitive disadvantage by looking at the stories of other people’s success and wondering why mine isn’t one of them.
Silly? Yes…but I have had the honor and privilege of working with some very talented and remarkable people over the years and its intimidating on many levels!
I feel blessed with the opportunities I’ve been given. But, if you look at it, you can see this line of thinking makes no logical sense either. Beating yourself up for the way things are or for not being the way you want them to be is just another form of resistance.
In essence..you’re fighting your own success!
Now, I know that true progress can’t possibly be made when you’re sitting there and operating from a place of resistance.
It’s like attempting to drive a car with the brakes on. You’re going to burn gas, screw up the engine, and stay stuck.
So, maybe it’s time to look at that and take your foot off the brake. I am a bit of a control freak…so I have a desire to be in complete control of everything…yet that is another interesting example of resistance. It’s the catch-22 on a never ending journey of personal development. You start your journey so you can take control of your life and then realize that the TRUE key to taking control is letting go of your desire to control everything. Once you take your foot off the brake however, the car seems to move effortlessly. So “they” say.
I’m still trying to lift my foot off that pedal.
But, it’s easier said than done, isn’t it? While we know logically that there’s no sense in worrying about things that we can’t change, we do it anyway. It’s like an annoying add-on feature of the human brain that was intended to serve some useful purpose, but is actually a nuisance more often than not.
So, how do we take our foot off the break? It’s simple but not easy.
Of late, I remind myself that a year from now what matters today probably won’t carry nearly the importance I thought it would. Five years from now what matters a year from now won’t. Ten years from now what matters five years from now probably won’t.
Part of why we struggle with resisting our temptation to dwell on the problems in our lives is that we continue to project them forward into tomorrow, next week, next month…and beyond. We’re convinced that the impact of things are something that will grow with time.
Well, “it ain’t necessarily so”.
Admittedly, you could say that about goal setting and momentum, but when it comes to the problems we carry around with us, time causes them to eventually lose their power over us. As much as the numerous failures I’ve had impacted me, and placed me where I’m at today (good or bad) I can’t imagine the life I would have without them. They’ve motivated and inspired all the futures that came after them. "As one door closes...another one opens."
So..if you can see that, and when you stop resisting the circumstances of your life, a whole new blank canvas of possibility can open up for you. The more you’re willing to veer off the beaten path, take the “Road Not Taken” (one of my favorite poems from Robert Frost) and take a more scenic route through life, you get an opportunity to find out what you’re really made of and tap into your true potential.
And that, as the poem goes, makes all the difference.
What have you got to lose? If you make a mistake, you learn from it and a whole new canvas appears for you to paint. Take your shot and see what happens.
"Tap" will be on hiatus while we spend some time opening doors.
As always, thanks for reading…