All change and growth involves three steps:
1. DISSATISFACTION: Because of outer events or inner feelings, you decide your current situation no longer works for you.
2. CONFUSION: Normally, a period of confusion follows in which you challenge your old beliefs. You begin to fantasize how things could be different. This transitional period could last a day, a month, a year, or more ... Until something happens.
3. ACTION: Someone helps you to make a decision, or an opportunity presents itself, or you manage to attain clarity. Once this happens, you take action and, ideally, manifest a more satisfying life.
But, oh, how we resist change! We are terrified of it! Out of fear, we cling to what is and do everything within our power to keep people and things in their familiar static positions. If you're in a good relationship, you certainly don't want your union to spin off in some unexpected direction that will cause you anxiety. You want things to remain just as they are, solid and predictable. But soon suffering arises, because life is constantly changing.
“It is your resistance to what is that causes your suffering,” said Buddha. Life is change. Change, is what it is.
If not today, then tomorrow, or next month, or next year. Everything in your life will eventually change.
Trouble starts with our desire for permanency. Desire is a matter of living in the future—of sacrificing the present for the future. And desires always disappoint. If you don't get what you desire, you become frustrated. If you do get what you desire, you'll still be frustrated, because what you desired will never live up to your expectations. Sooner or later you'll find you were chasing illusions.
And permanency is a great big faulty assumption, because it simply does not exist. Never has, never will. It is what it is.
But what if you could lock up life so that permanency were possible? Nothing would ever change. Tomorrow would be a repetition of today. Next year, everything the same. Five years down the road, exactly the same. BORING! STATIC! DEPRESSING! It is the not knowing that makes life exciting and generates ALIVENESS.
So the idea is to be courageous enough to embrace change, knowing that you're in search of new experiences to provide GROWTH.
Growth is why you supposedly incarnated upon the earth in the first place , right?
But you can't experience growth living a static life. A static (stagnant) life may protect you from some problems, but at what cost and for how long? Stagnation is a process of drying up—allowing your life to become dull, colorless, lifeless. No aliveness. No joy. Watch some TV, go to work, come home, watch some TV, go to work, come home. Treadmill. Been there? Are you there now?
Even if your actions in a quest for growth cause you pain, at least when you're hurting, you know you're alive. And the pain will generate more action, which will lead to more aliveness. Soon you'll find yourself back among the living.
If your life has become lifeless, what can you possibly fear from change? Explore your DISSATISFACTION, allow time for CONFUSION, and then make up your mind and ACT to manifest a more satisfying life.
Words to Consider Eliminating
Since the concepts implied by the following words don't contribute to improving the quality of your life, it might be in your best interest to notice when you use them. You'll become more aware of the way you give away your power, limit your reality, or negatively program your subconscious mind.
TRY: Trying is lying. There is no such thing as trying. You do it or you don't. You get results in life or you have excuses why you didn't. When people say, “I'll try,” they usually mean, “I'm not going to do it now.”
SHOULD: don't “should on yourself.” Should is resistance to what is, and the Universal Law of resistance states, “That which you resist, you draw to you.” Do things because you want to do them, not because you should.
BECAUSE: This word often prefaces a “reasonable” explanation for doing what you do. When you cease to provide reasons to other people for doing what you do, you'll keep more power.
BUT: “Get your but out of the way!” The word but often creates a problem. If you replace it with the word and, you no longer have a problem.
BELIEF: You only believe what you don't know or haven't experienced. Knowledge comes from experience. And belief destroys experience.
Of course this is easier said than done, and there are exceptions.
As an overly occasional writer, all too often, I tend to play loose with words and ignore my own wisdom. The old “do as I say, not as I do”, bit.
But (did you notice the but), now that I've shared this with you, I'll have to be a little more careful.