Much as we hope it would be otherwise, organizations such as ours can’t stop this world from changing. The very best we can hope for is to adapt. If we’re smart, we change before we have to. The smart or lucky ones (insert your choice) manage to scramble and adjust when push comes to shove. The rest lose…and they become history.

As organizations maneuver in some effort to cope with rapid change, some careers always get caught in the cracks. It’s unfortunate, but completely unavoidable. Some employees get pinched and, naturally, people cry foul. They accuse top management of “breaking the psychological contract,” of changing the rules.

The idea of some sort of “implied contract” between Management and Employee is a little hard to justify in today’s job climate. I think it’s more accurate to say that the organization is just responding to a rule change in the WORLD. The irony in this is that many executives are in a true no-win situation. If they’re a smart one and change early like they need to, they’re described as cold, uncaring and over-reactive. If they try and drag it out and DON’T change until the world forces the issue, they’re considered inept as well as cruel. It’s a no-win situation for somebody, no matter what.

Look at today’s multi-generational workforce. Never has there been such a time in Labor history where so many generations of workers, all with clearly different perspectives on employment, worked together.

I think part of the problem is the “entitlement” mindset that has crept into our thinking over the past couple of decades. People came to believe that, because they had worked at all, no matter how much time they had put in, the organization “owed” them continued employment with benefits, time off whenever they wanted, flexible schedules, sick days, all their IT problems fixed for them, etc., etc., etc. Just showing up every day (usually) – loosely referred to as “loyalty” – was supposed to entitle a person to job security. I actually had an employee once that said “Hey, I came to work! What more do you want?” Seriously? I recall trying to explain to that employee that he didn’t receive income from us for showing up and being there. He was paid for what he did while he was there. He had a hard time understanding the concept and shortly thereafter was encouraged to leave.

Employees EXPECTED, even DEMANDED regular pay increases and periodic promotions. Some folks even went so far as to assume they had a “right” to expect their employer to keep them happy and provide high job satisfaction for them. The burden of responsibility for people’s career’s kept shifting further and further away from the employee and more onto the backs of employers. And the truth is, both sides bought into the system and it’s been bad for everybody.

Too often, employees rested on past achievements, instead of requiring themselves to constantly upgrade their skills. The EXPECTED to have their needs met by their employer when the times arose. They became so dependent on their employers, expecting to be protected and bailed out from whatever storm hit, that they became unable to move forward either in skill set or value to their employer that was struggling to meet their needs!
Well, obviously, it didn’t work. It has no chance of ever working, now.

A lot of jobs have been cut back or completely eliminated . New technology and competition is re-shaping how we work. The marketplace has no mercy and it puts definite limits on how generous and protective an organization can be with its people. Boomers and older have seen this before. In fact, we grew up with it that way.

But Gen X and Gen Y employees aren’t used to that type of marketplace. They grew up with flexible schedules and employers who were just happy to have them working for them. But if not, no big deal! There were PLENTY of jobs out there to choose from. If an employer didn’t give them what they wanted, they just went to another that did. And another. And another. And another.

THAT ship has sailed in this new economy, and I would suspect that we’ll never see it like that again. Americans don’t learn lessons early or easily, but when we do it usually sticks.

It’s time to reframe your relationship with your organization, just as it must reframe their relationship with customers and competitors. Don’t fall into the trap of assuming that you’re automatically “entitled” to pay increases, promotions, or even a job! Circumstances will keep changing over the next several years. The best thing you can do is constantly upgrade your skills, stay flexible and never ever con yourself into thinking that your employer is “supposed” to protect your future. You have a tough schedule? That’s what the job calls for. You want more time off than your company can give? Adjust YOUR schedule. Don’t expect the company to bend to your whims. They don’t have to. Remember, you are not paid to show up for work everyday. You’re paid for what you do WHILE at work everyday.

The era of entitlement is ended. Instead of relying on your “rights”, take some personal responsibility for your career. Put some faith in the future and put more in yourself.

Embrace the change and develop the work habits you’ll need for job success in this new age.

“Don't feel entitled to anything you don't sweat and struggle for.”

Marian Wright Edelman (1939 – )
American Activist
Founder of the Children's Defense Fund

Thanks for reading.

Today’s world is taking no pity on the person who gets lazy about learning. Either you take personal responsibility for continuing your education, or you end up without the knowledge you need to protect your career.

"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on…..” Robert Byrne

It doesn’t take long for your skills and knowledge to get outdated in today’s world. The technological advances and the flood of ongoing new information truly make it hard to keep up with what’s going on. Even College graduates can find their most advanced skill set being outdated in a matter of a couple of years. Craftsmen are constantly adapting to new products. And some careers don’t even get a CHANCE to change – they just disappear. So in today’s world, we have to constantly retool ourselves, become perpetual students, or we risk becoming obsolete in our own jobs. Nobody wants that to happen, especially in today’s economy.

You should invest in your own growth, development and self-renewal. Do it the way a company invests in research and development, and come up with a new and better product or service you can offer. Your employer may be helping you with this, by offering classes or study materials to get better at your job, but ultimately it’s up to you. Companies that did that 5-10 years ago to give you those basic skills are the same companies that are EXPECTING staff to know the skills when they apply. Your future “employability” – your appeal as a job candidate or employee – depends on you having a relentless drive to update your credentials, acquire new skills and stay abreast of what’s happening in your field.

Homework –studying on your own – should become a regular part of your weekly routine. Read. Attend workshops and seminars. Take courses. Volunteer as an understudy to learn from experts. ASK for learning opportunities, and then milk them dry. It doesn’t matter anymore whether you drive a truck, work on cars, teach, farm or doctor people. You need specialized knowledge. You also need to realize that your field is constantly changing. Dig deeper. Keep learning. Develop transferable skills. Don’t get locked in to just one job. Give yourself options.

The more you know how to do, and the better you do it, the more valuable you become and the greater your job security.

So forget about finishing your education.

Defend your career by developing a better package of knowledge and skills than the next person.

Thanks for reading…

This morning, I had an interesting experience.

Among dozens of emails, phone calls and webinar offerings, I managed to expose myself blindly to two that focused on one challenge I see many in our career path have to overcome the most – talking too much and listening too little. Interestingly enough, neither of the messages was specifically targeting individual or style shortcomings, and even better, the subject line of these presentations was not about my listening skills at all.

Ok..I’m trying to be objective, but if this is not a moment of serendipity, then I don’t know what is. It also reminds me of the perfect definition of serendipity, I once read: “…is when you come to look for a needle in a stack of hay, and you end up finding a farmer’s daughter.”  I love that because it’s a perfect metaphor for how I found my wife.  Looking for that proverbial “needle in a haystack” for a partner, I found a beautiful Finnish Farmer’s daughter who’s made my life interesting ever since.

Anyway, the first piece of content is a video from http://www.entselling.com/ that talks about challenges selling in an entrepreneurial environment.  It wasn’t  focused on the selling or listening style at all. It is very good and I strongly recommend it to just about any team out there, but it was the listening piece of it that really struck a chord with me the most.

I’m old school sales…and I’d been trained on the importance of this skill for selling many years ago, and judging by my performance at the time, I had even learned to apply it on more than once occasion. However, as it may be obvious to people who know me, it is not one of my natural qualities.   It seems that the more I get excited about the subject of conversation, the less patient I get with listening to anyone else talk,  and it’s particularly true if I think I already figured out what they’re trying to tell me.

I may be right about that, but it doesn’t usually make for much of a great conversation experience, nor does it make them feel that they have been heard and that I actually do understand their concerns or problems. Apparently, it’s a very common problem that ends up undermining many who are understandably excited about their creations to a detriment of their potential customers’ comfort, and subsequently a sales success. Maybe I should start looking for a “shut up and listen” support group. Please let me know if such a group exists.  I’ll sign up today.

Now, the second piece was even more interesting and was presented by Rebel Brown at the Defy Gravity webinar sponsored by TreeHouseInteractive. Rebel Brown is a very dynamic and passionate speaker, and she was talking about many marketers trying to use social media as traditional content broadcasting channel. The main lesson I took out of this presentation is about a challenge of the institutionalized listening process that needs to become more a part of a personalized conversation, if a brand wants to be successful in social media. I suppose that no brand will be able to survive without social engagement with their customers, as the customers are creators of a brand.  A great presentation at our recent conference in DC reflected that general consensus.

“Advertising can help you sell good products, but only your customers are going to be able to help you build a great brand!”

So, the challenge is in learning what is important to your customers and communicating with them about this, as opposed to focusing on your product or your brand.  An interesting thought..and I think the most difficult part is to not assume that we already know what it is, and not be afraid to learn from these open lines of communication.

Rebel also made a great point about the practice of counting followers and “likes” as a result of social media efforts. I will try to paraphrase it here as, “Do not confuse tactical metrics with actual meaningful results.” Let’s face it – these only exist because they are easy to count. Their relevance to business outcomes is very questionable, and the only thing they help to learn is how to manipulate or game the counting mechanisms.  Interesting.

I don’t think a “real” marketer can be helped by a mere support group or volunteer 12-step program. Perhaps there is an opportunity for a true “rehab.”   All you need is a recovering celebrity.  I wonder what Charlie Sheen is doing these days…?

I have the pleasure and honor of knowing and dealing with many highly successful people for many years. You know who you are.

Looking at these people, I've found that they have behaviors and characteristics that are much less superficial than most as well as more telling than just acquiring status symbols. Some of which, have many.

In my observations of the real ultra-high achievers, the more professionally successful they are:

• The less stuff they carry: The most successful people I know never seem to carry laptops, briefcases or much of anything else, other than (usually two) phones.
  
• The fewer calls they answer or return: Even with those two phones, these top dogs rarely return calls that aren't critical to their own business or personal needs.
  
• The harder they are to reach by anyone or any means.
  
• The less time they spend at a computer.
  
• The shorter their e-mails. You might say that Alphas use less alphabet. Indeed.
  
• The less social media they use (except for celebrities) and the less they care about it.
  
• The less they know, stay current, or care about pop culture (again, except for celebrities)..and again, the less they seem to care about it.
  
• The less TV they watch (except sports, especially anything involving their alma maters). I think it points towards their competitive spirit or drive that they constantly exhibit.
  
• The more non-leisure stuff they do that's not directly related to their business (charities, boards, outside investments).
  
• The more newspapers they take off the flight attendant's cart in First Class (unless they're on their own plane, which makes all the other points moot).

Now, some of these behaviors are very obvious, some may seem a little ironic, and of course none of these are meant to suggest that business and money are the only measures of a successful life. Because clearly, they are not.

Some of the observations are made with a little pointed ribbing intended, and none of these things are in the least, scientific, though I'll bet they could be: I don't know a single mega-successful business person who doesn't exhibit at least half of these traits.

Truth be told if I look closely at this list, many of the observations don’t bode well for me, much less my shot at that sweet Gulfstream 650 I'd like to see on MY runway.

I carry a Laptop or more recently, a Tablet, constantly. I return more calls and messages than I ignore, I only have one phone, and most assuredly, I'm not well-known for brevity in my e-mails.

And truth be told, for the most part, I don't care -- I don't like some of these characteristics in others, and there are parts of my life, personality and business behavior that I'm not interested in changing for anybody.

If that keeps me out of the most rarified air, so be it. I like the company I keep.

But there is an important central theme that's valuable to all of us, regardless of where we are on the ladder, whether we admire these behaviors or are put off by them, or whether the list accurately reflects our own style or aspirations.

No matter what combination of these characteristics the Masters of the Universe might possess, the bottom line is the same: Without exception, the people at the very top of the business ladder don't waste time.

Thanks for reading and wasting a little time with me today.

Even the introverts amongst us – (that’s myself included!) – are social beings.

It’s completely natural for us to pay attention to what other people might be thinking.

But here’s the problem; worrying about what other people think can lead us to take on too many commitments, deny what our real goals and passions are and settle for a life of “people-pleasing”. It’s a frustrating trip down a rabbit hole.

On the other hand, paying no heed at all to how others might be thinking of us can lead to professional and personal relationships turning sour too.

I strive, sometimes successfully and sometimes not so successfully to maintain a healthy balance between the two. Of late, admittedly, it’s been a big challenge.

In a column a few weeks ago, I brought up the subject of realizing that nobody is perfect….and it created some response and comment back to me. So further introspection seemed appropriate. Here’s some things to consider:

Step 1: Pay Attention – But Don’t Worry

Worrying rarely gets you anywhere in life. Worry, if you really stop to think about it, really has no resolution to it. It’s simply draining both mentally and physically to you. So don’t spend time feeling unhappy or anxious about how others might be thinking of you. Try not to let your emotions run away with you and cloud the issue here, and don’t spend time trying to “mind-read” other people. You’re going to be wrong much more often than right.

You’re often your own worst critic – and frankly, most people have far too much on your minds to care whether you’re slightly over/under-dressed for a situation, for instance.

Step 2: Does Their Opinion Matter?

Stop caring what random strangers think of you. If you like to sing as you walk round your local park, and someone passing gives you a weird look – it really doesn’t matter. Their opinion isn’t going to affect you in any way.

The same goes for all sorts of situations. For example, a problem that many overweight people have when they’re trying to get in shape is that they’d like to go to the gym or to an exercise class, but they’re worried what people will think of them. Ask yourself “can what they think hurt me?” or “does their opinion matter?” until you feel confident enough to go ahead with what you want.

Step 3: Use the Feedback

If you get a negative reaction from a key figure in your life, like your boss or a colleague, then it’s wise to pay attention. If your boss is fanatical about keeping a tidy desk and you couldn’t care less, it might be worth adjusting your behavior – especially if your boss scowls every time s/he sees your desk.

What you can’t do is make assumptions about what other people are thinking, though. You need to make sure you really do have evidence to back up your mania. In the absence of any real evidence, try assuming the best rather than the worst! For example, if someone sends you a rather curt email, assume that they were just in a hurry – don’t start worrying over whether they dislike you.

Step 4: Put Your Goals First

Maybe you have very different goals to your family and friends. Perhaps you’re keen to get a great grade in school, but your friends think you should just join them in partying and having a laugh. It doesn’t really matter what they think: your goals should be more important than their opinion.

The same goes for all sorts of situations. Maybe you’ve ended up in a career or a relationship you hate because it’s what someone else wanted you to do. Your goals should never be dictated by other people. YOU have to make those decisions.

(If you don’t have any explicit goals, that might be why you’re prone to worrying about what other people think – because you don’t have your own plan for your life. You might want to read 11 Useful Tips on Setting Goals and Achieving Them.)

Step 5: Value Your Values

If other people make fun or discount your values, ignore them. Perhaps you’d like to read more about personal development and self-improvement, but you’re worried your friends would just laugh at you if they found out. Maybe you’re keen to do your best at work even when the boss is away – but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot for not joining them in slacking off.

Whatever the situation, make sure you’re holding tight to your own values, rather than being swept along by other people’s. Many people will actually be impressed (even if they don’t say so) – because you’ve had the conviction to stick to what you believe is important. Even more importantly to your own mental health, when you look in the mirror you’ll like who’s looking back at you. That is very important.

Step 6: Remember That You Don’t Have to be Popular

Even though we are conditioned for years to think so, the truth of the matter is that life isn’t like high school.

It doesn’t matter if you’re not popular. You can never please everyone anyway - so don’t even begin to try.

Say “no” to commitments that you don’t want to take on, but give your ALL when you do commit. Just remember, be willing to do something that goes against the crowd, if it’s what you truly believe in.

Of course, there are a few people in my life who I want to be popular with – my spouse, my kids, and my peers, for example. But in general, most people’s opinions and thoughts are unlikely to have any real effect. Plus, if you behave as “yourself” and people don’t like you – would you really want them to be your friends anyway?

“Do what you want and say what you feel, because the people that mind don’t matter and the people that matter, don’t mind.”

Dr. Seuss

Thanks for reading…